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Mom's Talk: How Do You Deal With Kids' Teasing?

Discuss strategies to talk to children who face teasing in school

Moms Talk is a new feature on Patch that is part of a new initiative on our Patch sites to reach out to moms and families.

Patch's Jersey Shore region invites you and your circle of friends to help build a community of support for mothers and their families right here.

Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council of experts and smart moms take your questions, give advice and share solutions.

Moms, dads, grandparents and the diverse families who make up our community will have a new resource for questions about local neighborhood schools, the best pediatricians, 24-hour pharmacies and the thousands of other issues that arise while raising children.

Moms Talk will also be the place to drop in for a talk about the latest parenting hot topic. Where can we get information on local flu shot clinics for children? How can we help our children's schools weather their budget cutbacks?

So grab a cup of coffee and settle in as we start the conversation:

What is the best strategy for talking to your child who has been teased at school?

Deborah J Holliday MSW March 24, 2011 at 11:31 AM
Teasing can be a polite word for bullying if it is happening over and over again. The best strategy to teach our children about hurtful words begins with empowering them with the truth of their own value. Children who respect themselves are more likely to reject hurtful words when they are taught to stand up and speak up for the truth they know....others opinions and careless words have no power when we respect and value ourselves.
SWK March 24, 2011 at 12:37 PM
Far better than inserting ourselves in our kids interpersonal conflicts, is to allow our kids to believe in themselves, stand up for themselves and develop the coping skills to deal with mean people and the hassles of life in general. I know a young man whose mother jumped in and 'rescued' him every single time other kids were harsh. He is now a 25 yr. old living behind a locked door in his mother's house....too afraid to work, unable to have close relationships and drinking to ease his despair. Yes, bullying must be addressed - but over-reacting whenever kids have spats and say mean things may be more harmful than the bullying itself.
Dawnn Irons March 24, 2011 at 12:40 PM
Teasing in school can stay with you a long time. I still remember a boy that was teased about his weight every day of high school. I have no idea how he had the strength to come in to those classes every day. What I know, and what I would tell my child, is that looking back i remember the teasers to be jerks. They were kids that had to make others look bad to make themselves feel better about their own skins. They weren't funny, they weren't cool, they were just ignorant. The most important thing is that if those kids tease them, they are able to just brush off the comments knowing that those kids can't make them feel bad about themselves, because those kids don't matter.
Courtney April 01, 2011 at 05:34 AM
This is a great question!!!! I agree with you dawnn i was torcherd as a kid becouse i didnt have the nicest clothes or i couldnt afford to go to the bowling alley with all my friends and it was a really hard thing to deal with and as i sit hear and think about my four kids and what i would tell them when and if this happens to them and it upsets me that being a Mother i cant be thier to pertect them from other peoples hurtful words and actions!! But i would tell them the same thing my mom use to tell me LOL if thier picking on you then thier leaving some other kid alone and honestly as wierd as that sounds it use to make me feel better becouse i didnt want anyone to feel the way i use to feel!!!! My biggest problem with this is if us as parents taught our kids right from wrong a lil bit better thier probly wouldnt be bully"s in school for us to be even having this discussion!!!!!!!

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