PTA Guest Speaker Talks Risky Adolescent Behavior

With prom season and graduation quickly approaching, the Manchester Municipal Alliance wants parents to be aware of the possible risky behaviors that teens may engage in – both now and throughout the year. 

At the May 9 PTA general member meeting, Fran Miceli, a life coach invited by the alliance, presented what she calls “Triple A” – a way adolescents react to anger by engaging in drug and alcohol addiction. 

Teaching parents how to communicate with their adolescent may prevent the teen from believing that alcohol and drugs are the solution to their anger, she said.

Miceli spoke about the four basic psychological needs of all people: belonging, freedom, power and fun.  She explained that adolescents need to feel and balance all four of these things every day and how parents can help their child do this.

“The belonging need should be met the minute the child is born, by the parents verbally and non-verbally showing and telling the child that you are happy that they are here, and so that they feel secure,” she said. “Giving the child really solid belonging message is like putting cement under their feet, rather than putting them in quick sand by giving inconsistent messages.”

Decisions lead to the freedom need being met. It is important to teach children how to make decisions and how to think through the consequences prior to taking an action, Miceli said.

The power need is met when a child achieves and accomplishes things, and is recognized for it. 

“If I am a child who is fortunate enough to go to school and get good grades, then my need is being fulfilled," she said. "But if I am a child that does not accomplish in school, I still come with that need.  So that child becomes the worst kid in class because then he will get recognition and attention."

Miceli explained that anger really comes from other underlying emotions that adolescents may feel such as hurt, fear, inadequacy, or abandonment. 

“When a child uses the word angry, it is a cover up for one of those feelings.  And our goal as a counselor, teacher, or parent is to get to the actual feeling that the teen feels when they use the word angry.”

This, she said, makes it easier to communicate with the child and help them to balance their needs, without the teen moving toward drugs and alcohol.

The Manchester Municipal Alliance will be holding Project Graduation, a program that provides a night of safe fun and entertainment after prom, for Manchester Township High School seniors.